Asparagus lingers (in great literature)

In case you thought that asparagus was annoying because it makes your pee smell strongly...you were wrong! That just means you do not have refined sensibilities like Marcel Proust in Swann's Way which enable you to see the poetry in your nocturnal micturations subsequent to the ingestion of said dinner vegetable. Or, according to Wikipedia, you lack the genes which enable your ability to smell the digested asparagus compounds excreted in your urine. Hmm... In the words of Proust himself, asparagus is magical:

...But what delighted me were the asparagus, steeped in ultramarine, and pink, whose tips, delicately, painted, with little strokes of mauve and azure, shade off imperceptibly down to their feet--still soiled though they are from the dirt of their garden bed--with an iridescence that is not of this earth. It seemed to me that these celestial hues revealed the delicious creatures who had merrily metamorphosed themselves into vegetables and who, through the disguise of their firm, edible flesh, disclosed in these early tints of dawn, in these beginnings of rainbows, in this extinction of blue evenings, the precious essence that I recognized again when, all night long following a dinner at which i had eaten them, they played, in farces as crude and poetic as a fairy play by Shakespeare, at changing my chamber pot into a jar of perfume. (translated by Lydia Davis, 123-4)

It's OPPOSITES Day!

orthoepy |ôrˈθōəpē|
noun
the correct or accepted pronunciation of words.
• the study of correct or accepted pronunciation.

Now, TRY to pronounce that word correctly. It. is. im. possible.

Happy Birthday, blog

I don't have much time... Am trying to remain focused in this final week before Spring Break. But I wanted to give a shout out ...to myself... and say, "Happy Birthday, Blog." Yesterday marks the 2 year anniversary of my blog's life.

Although you have changed names and layouts, little blog, you remain a record of my meanderings in the etherea; and in this, I take pleasure. Thank you, also, dear readers, for being dear readers. Here's to more years of blogdom here at doulaclare.blogspot.com . Cheers!

Louisville is for Single Payer Health Insurance

The letter below is an email I received today from John Yarmuth('s office). He is the Congressperson who represents Louisville in the House. To all of you who live in Louisville: this man wants you to have insurance. To those of you who live outside of Louisville: TELL YOUR CONGRESSPERSON TO SIGN HR 676 -- it is our moral and civic duty to achieve universal, single payer healthcare in the United States, if we are to realize and live out our American ideals of freedom (from debt and illness) and equality (of access to health regardless of ability to pay, neighborhood, income, race, gender, age, etc.).

Thank you for contacting me to express your support for universal health coverage. I appreciate the benefit of your views on this matter, and am pleased to inform you that I have signed on as a cosponsor of H.R. 676, the United States National Health Insurance Act.

Our broken health care system places an enormous strain on American families and American businesses. Currently, there are a staggering 47 million Americans who do not have health coverage and 85,000 individuals in Metro Louisville alone. In addition, half of all bankruptcies can be traced back to medical bills. Not only is it a national urgency that we respond to this public health crisis, I believe it is also our moral obligation.

H.R. 676, the United States National Health Insurance Act, will ensure that quality health coverage is not a luxury of the privileged few, but a right afforded to every citizen in the richest nation on the globe. It will expand and improve Medicare, the highly successful single-payer universal health care program for seniors and the disabled, to cover all Americans. This legislation is supported by over 210 labor unions, 13,000 physicians, and more than 100 grassroots organizations across the U.S. In fact, both the Commonwealth of Kentucky and the Louisville Metro Council have passed bills urging the U.S. Congress to enact comprehensive health insurance, and specifically H.R. 676.

Because I firmly believe that high quality health care should be a right and not a privilege, and because of the strong support for universal health coverage in Louisville and in the Commonwealth of Kentucky, I am proud to have added my name to this landmark piece of legislation. H.R. 676 is currently pending in the House Ways and Means and Energy and Commerce Committees. Please be assured that I will continue to do all that I can to see that this bill advances in the weeks and months ahead.

Thank you again for contacting me to share your views on this important issue. Please do not hesitate to contact me in the future with any issues of concern.

If you would like to learn more about my work in Washington and in Louisville, please visit my website at www.yarmuth.house.gov where you will find the latest news, my weekly schedule, video from hearings, and information about constituent services. You can also sign up for my e-newsletter to receive periodic updates on important issues and services for your family.

Sincerely,

John Yarmuth
Member of Congress

Steely heart, be strong

Your emotions are running extra high today, Clare, and you will feel a deep knowing inside that assures you that you are right. Hold on to this power pellet of inner strength. You will need it today as someone tries to push you off the top of the mountain by way of their fast talk and barrage of facts and information. Even though your thinking may be a bit off base, your heart is in the right place.

This could be my stock horoscope for every day in the last 6 months. I feel emotional and steeled against people who try to tell me I am wrong. I have spent my whole life training myself to believe others before myself; this will not happen anymore. And while my thinking may be a bit off, I've got to figure out how to correct it myself and not from outside influences.

Why I Shan't Be Voting for John McCain

Don't get me wrong; I don't mean to say that I think he's a horrible person. On the contrary, the thing that most recommends McCain to me is my impression of his credibility. Unlike my opinion of most politicians, I think John McCain actually says what he means and does what he says. That's also why I won't vote for him. Fuck if I'd vote for a man who says the following--and believes it!

- It "would be fine with me" if America kept a military presence in Iraq for 100 years.

- Asked last year about Iran's nuclear ambitions, he jokingly sang the words "Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys hit "Barbara Ann".

- On Israel, McCain offers unqualified support, expressed in years of public statements.

- He has the endorsement of pro-Israel icon Joseph Lieberman, the independent senator from Connecticut.

- He has the endorsement of former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani.

- McCain has met every Israeli prime minister since Menachem Begin and backed Israel during the 2006 Lebanon war.

- He opposes restrictions on assault rifles.

- He wants to "bring democracy" to the rest of the world.

- McCain was endorsed by John Bolton, the former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

- He has made it very clear that the best way to deal with Iran is an effective sanctions regime, but is willing to attack them "if necessary."
* * *
I must admit, however, these points in his favor:

- He voted against amending the constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage.

- He is against having English be the national language (because of Native American languages, not because it's distinctly un-American to declare a national language).

- McCain voted YES on giving Guest Workers a path to citizenship.

- His work on Campaign Finance Reform.

- Rush Limbaugh and James Dobson rail against him.
* * *
See, McCain resists spin like an electron beam. I like that. But he is a crazy motherfucker about the military! What the what! In short: Scheunemann, a longtime McCain adviser, said the senator "rejects any other label than a `consistent conservative'." I like the 'consistent' part, but I can't abide the 'conservative' part.

Rally for Higher Education

Hello, to anyone who lives in Kentucky. Especially if you are a college student or about to be one, this info is for you:

The RALLY FOR HIGHER EDUCATION is on Wednesday, February 20th. Budget cuts will affect students!!! A 15% budget cut in the works means 25 million dollars less for the University! Also, the KEES Scholarship Program is going to be cut as well, which means a lot less money for you. If you would like to go and speak out, please email your name, email, and county to sgaevp@louisville.edu Here is some info about the day:

We will leave for the Rally at 10:00am from Papa John's stadium - you can park there for the day. On the bus ride to Frankfort we will go over the agenda for the day, distribute: folders with literature to give to legislators, a map of the Capitol, an excuse letter for missing class, and a t-shirt. We will arrive in Frankfort around 11:00am, giving everyone a chance to eat their free lunch and visit their own individual legislators. The actual Rally will convene in the Rotunda at 1:15pm, will last about an hour, and will feature several speakers. We should be back to the stadium no later than 4:00pm.

I plan to go, so if anybody wants to, you know, like, be my bus-riding-buddy, that is cool with me. Just post a comment here or email me. :)

Lou Dobbs is a Cocksucker

Sorry for the strong language kids, but I just had to get that off my chest. What an effing m-effer.

I am sitting in the atrium of the Galt House waiting for James and working on my shizzle, and I happened to look up and my eye caught the television screen above the coffee bar (both now permanent fixtures in almost all public places in the US). And that fat fucking windbag was blowing his gasket about some shit or another on a split screen with Jesse Jackson. Thank GOD I cannot hear the t.v. from here. B A R F .

Hope all's well, kids. I've been an absentee from the blogosphere for reasons of work and thesis-writing. Wish me luck! I'll have something intelligent and/or high-larious to place here in the near future.

WATCH THIS SPACE. As the random sticker on the newspaper dispenser near campus said:

I HAVE INTERESTING OPINIONS ON CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECTS. (and a potty mouth, of course.)

Religion is for Peace, not Violence

This is a pretty nice little op ed about how Israel/Palestine is NOT a religious conflict; and as far as the religions which are practiced in the region, NONE OF THEM CONDONE VIOLENCE.

Oiled Hilarity

I used to think there was no cultural divide that could not be crossed. Watching this video today on Attack of the Show made me think there might be evidence to the contrary. It is amazing how just a baby oil slide and a transvestite host can make me question my original dismissal of Samuel Huntington's Clash of Civilizations.... Has the world gone mad?

I repeat my original query: WTF is up with the Japanese?

Read a Mothafuckin' Book

Check out this video: Read A Book



Add to My Profile | More Videos

For your viewing pleasure.

If you are interested in learning more about Bomani Armah (aka D'mite), here is his website: Not A Rapper

U of L's new marketing campaign

Perhaps it will grow on me, but for now it appears that UofL's new branding campaign begs to be followed by "That's What She Said." Check it out here. Or see it in context here.

A few quotes from Full Metal Jacket

"We are here to help the Vietnamese because inside every Gook is an American trying to get out."

"I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them.

I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill."

Let's leave no definitional stone unturned, shall we?

beg the question

1 (of a fact or action) raise a question or point that has not been dealt with; invite an obvious question.
2 avoid the question; evade the issue.
3 assume the truth of an argument or proposition to be proved, without arguing it.

My Soapbox about Circumcision

WARNING: Read no further if the words "genital mutilation" make you uncomfortable.


toothpastefordinner.com

This webcomic encapsulates in a very amusing way my essential feelings about circumcision (as practiced upon males routinely in the United States). In fact, I think circumcision is more accurately identified as genital mutilation. This is strong language, I know, and is arguably too strong. I say it is arguable because usual, male, United Statesian circumcision is not as damaging, most times, as female genital mutilation (FGM). With FGM procedures a woman is rendered incapable of orgasm, whereas with (most/successful) male genital mutilation, men may still achieve orgasm--thus the perpetuation of our species can still proceed. So, many people think the term "genital mutilation" should refer only to the alteration of the genitalia such that it removes the physical capability of orgasm. However, I feel that any alteration of the genitalia is mutilation. The removal of living body parts for cultural reasons is completely stupid to me, not to mention immoral where it removes the ability to experience orgasm.

Why would people just chop off parts of the skin of a baby for no apparent reason? The American Academy of Pediatrics does not classify circumcision as medically necessary. So why is it so prevalent in the United States? The reasons are various. For example, Jews usually participate in circumcision because of historical/traditional precedent. I personally don't think that makes it right, but at least there is a reason for it. This rationale is less confusing to me than when Christian, atheist, or simply secular American parents decide to circumcise their children. They seem to have motivations such as, "It's cleaner that way;" "It'll be easier for him to handle and take care of;" "I don't want him to feel 'different';" "I want his to look like his father's." What kind of logic is that? It isn't, is the answer. Cultural norms that advocate circumcision do not equal real evidence that is is beneficial. In fact, circumcision only became routine in male hospital births in the 1950s. This was the same era in which women were encouraged, for the first time, to feed thir babies milk formula instead of breastmilk, and to stop co-sleeping, and encouraged the institution of routine cesarean sections--a major abdominal surgery. (Babies cannot be born laproscopically!)

And as for the religious/philosophical freedom defense: I don't think that a parent's religious practices morally condone mutilating the most sensitive part of a boy's (or girl's) body. Parents are charged with the responsibility to protect their children, not endanger them or alter their bodies. Therefore, any notion of cultural relativism should not be used to continue to support this demeaning and futile practice. At the same time, I don't think this is the kind of thing that should be made illegal. First of all, legal action never effectively counteracts an entrenched cultural practice. Cultural practices only change from within, and legal remedies come from without. The decision whether or not to circumcise, therefore, remains a personal one, and a deeply personal one at that. That is why in my capacity as a doula, I never counsel parents against circumcision, but rather keep my own opinions to myself. If prompted for my opinion, I frame it as a a personal choice that I would personally not make for my child. I also discuss the health risks of the surgery and point out that it is medically unnecessary, but that it is at the same time something every family has to decide upon individually. It is not something to do routinely, i.e. randomly.

All hepped up on Hershey's kisses

Dude. It's been 10 days since I wrote in this mutha'. Much has occurred, most noteworthy of which was the utter ridiculousness of the plumbing in my house. FINALLY we have this resolved ($600+ dollars later), and I can get back to normal things, like freaking out about time management, over-taxing myself with too many projects, craving chocolate, watching America's Next Top Model, pining for sushi, etc... You know, the usual.

In addition to all this, school has started and is going allright. I still am behind on my thesis; I am for the first time truly understanding how central theory is to anthropology, as I grope to narrow the theory which will inform my paper. Argh. Also, my bilingualisms class is going to be sweet-ass: the text is amazing and we get to do lots of hands-on stuff, projects, presentations etc. GOOD TIMES. I simply must repeat to myself "Soy la alfa, soy la alfa... ¿Quién es la alfa? ¡¡¡¡SOY YO!!!! Claro claro claro." I also really like my Arabic class, although it is definitely the hardest language I've attempted so far. Not being Indo-European, Arabic poses the longest stretch of my brain power since literacy. I'm learning a new alphabet and a whole new linguistic structure. It's challenging, but rewarding. And my good friend, Jared, is in the class with me, which just makes it that much better.

And finally, but not leastly, I am working as a Learning Assistant again, this time for Dr. Parkhurst (aka THE SHIZIT. the man is amazing). Here is a photo of me at REACH training, so I can re-learn how to be an appropriate LA and representative of REACH and the University:

(that's me in the middle, looking gansta--uh, my way of saying "professorial," in other words.)

In short, kids: welcome back to the semester; welcome back to the grind. Ain't it grand?

stupid jerk horoscope. whadda YOU know?

"Your physical vitality is at low ebb, and you should make sure to avoid exposure to any sort of illness or disease, Clare. Steer clear of toxic substances of any kind that might add even more stress to your immune system. It may be hard for you to take a realistic attitude on these types of issues. You are good at creating a delusional frame of mind that convinces you that everything is fine, when in reality, it isn't. There is a stubborn energy in the air that is making it hard for you to change your ways."

Happy New Year

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Keep track in Quicken software of all expenditures.
2. Keep exercising with Stephanie.
3. Be more honest.
4. (related to #3): Be comfortable with your thoughts, desires, and objections. Value them rather than deny or hide them.
5. For the sake of your gall bladder, eat less fattening foods. (No fried anything, and no more full-fat dairy products, even if they are like manna from heaven...)
6. Be more verbally and mentally appreciative of others, especially my husband.
7. Do my homework on time.
8. Be more aware of what your organs are telling you about hunger. Only eat what you want, not what you feel you can afford.

That's about it for the moment. I think it's more than enough to keep me busy for at least a few months! Hope y'all had a good New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Best to you all in 2008!

Yes, I Do

toothpastefordinner.com

Library Free Louisville

The Louisville Free Public Library recently was told by its patrons, the citizens of Louisville, that they did NOT want to support an increase in the occupational-tax to fund the library. It would have meant a "levy of two-tenths of 1 percent on the earnings of all workers in Jefferson County, and also on the net profits of all businesses in the county." That means that "a worker earning $38,000 a year would pay $76 a year to the library district." It would have "guaranteed that the library system an income stream and end its dependence on metro government for funding" (data from the Louisville Courier-Journal: http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007710240814 ).

According to Joe Reagan, president of Greater Louisville Inc. (the metro chamber of commerce), Louisville spends only $24 a year per capita on the library system, compared with $66 in Cincinnati, $46 in Lexington and $42 in both Indianapolis and Nashville.

Well, on November 6, 2007, we Louisvillians apparently decided that we were just fine with stacking up sub-par with other cities of like size in our region. Once again, 66% of us voters decided for us all that we want Louisville to continue to uphold that lovely image of Kentucky as an illiterate, backwater, backwards, snake-holding, gun-toting, toothless, shoeless, tabacky-spitting, bourbon-guzzling, horse-gambling state. So now Director Craig Buthod and the rest of the Board of the Library Foundation have to decide what's "essential." So, like, does the library need all THREE volumes of Das Capital? Does your kid really need to read ALL the Nancy Drews? Come on, you know they're just gonna make the movie anyway...

More info here: http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071108/NEWS01/711080413

Or, see how Jefferson County voted by precinct: http://datacenter.courier-journal.com/elections/2007/general/librarymap.png
Needless to say, my precinct voted NO at a rate of 65% - 75%. So WHY is the new library being built in our precinct????

Sucks ASS. And so does my precinct.


toothpastefordinner.com

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised: Gil Scott Heron

One of the best songs ever.

So go on, switch off the tellie and go riot.

Those are MY holiday plans, anyway...

King Dork

So, I just finished this excellent little book called King Dork. It was recommended and lent to me by my good friend Luke. It's sort of a spoof on-cum-paean to Catcher in the Rye. In a way, it's an updated version or interpretation of Catcher. It is, at the same time, an exploration of how Gen X- and Y-ers relate (or don't) to their Boomer hippie parents (something I can definitely get into). It also is--for me anyway--a fascinating peek into the brain of a 15 year old boy, as the 49.5% of the world with XY chromosomes tend to utterly baffle me much of the time. Furthermore, it is chock full of musical references, including a "Glossary of Terms" at the back of the book which includes many l.o.l. definitions of various bands and recording artists of the 60s, 70s and 80s. Finally, it is also the best ethnography of high school ever written. It is a quick read and highly recommended for anyone who

(1) loves fiction
(2) was born between 1975 and 1990
(3) loves music
(4) feels they are a "nerd"
(5) knows and/or lives(lived) with hippies
(6) is or speaks Catholic
(7) has been or is a teenager

More info on the author, Frank Portman (who is also a member of the band The Mr. T Experience (MTX)), can be found here. Thanks for the recommendation, Luke!

The Distant Future: the Year 2000

marriedtothesea.com

If only

marriedtothesea.com

Bomb bomb bomb, Bomb bomb

toothpastefordinner.com

Color Blind Society

toothpastefordinner.com

Family Ties

Even though my stepson totally would not get this joke, I really want to give him this t-shirt for Christmas:



You can find this inside joke from the 80s and so many more pop culture ways to waste your day here.

The Politics of Naming Genocide

I just turned in a final paper today for my Human Rights class. One of the essays in the paper answered (or at least attempted to address) the prompt, "Elaborate upon why the US declared events in Darfur a genocide and did not do so in Rwanda." Here is my response (aka tirade about how the United States has abandoned its moral mandate).

It seems fairly obvious to me that the reason the United States has so much invested in calling the current events in Darfur a genocide but not those of Rwanda in 1994 is for its own political reasons and not for any real concern about human rights violations or violence against innocents. What I mean is, Darfur is of such popular interest to the United States because it is seen through a “religious/cultural warfare” lens rather than an “African-on-African” lens. We, as Americans, and especially the United States government, finds it disturbingly simple and easy to ignore genocide or other human rights abuses in the continent of Africa (and other places where the “other” lives: where other brown, black, red, or yellow people are the majority) for the same reason it seems to ignore so many social problems here at home: namely, institutionalized racism. Part of the discourse of this racism includes such ideas as “blacks being blacks,” those violent savages that can’t help themselves slaughtering each other, et cetera. The general attitude that genocide or other human rights problems are things that happen to “the other”—which we discussed at length in class and which Makau Mutua discusses in his article “Savages, Victims, and Saviors: The Metaphor of Human Rights”—is a form of Euro-ethnocentrism and racism, in the case of Rwanda.

Rwanda was a clear case of genocide, and, without getting into the problematic of ‘intent’ with regards to genocide, may I say that there was at least plenty of warning signs that a genocide could (and eventually did) occur. Yet the United States did not intervene. It continued to stay out of the genocide even after our then State Department spokesperson Mike McCurry himself described the events this way: “I think there was a strong disposition within the department here to view what has happened there [as a genocide]; certainly, constituting acts of genocide that have occurred....” Even though within 100 days some 800,000 Tutsis and moderate Hutus were murdered, the United States continued to turn a blind eye. In short, although the United States clearly knew that the right thing to do was to intervene, it actually demanded the removal of United Nations troops and then sat on the sidelines, since there was no public outcry or political reason compelling them to do so.

It would seem to make sense, then, at first glance, for the Western, Eurocentric, tactically rather than morally inclined United States to dismissively group the Sudan (Bilad-al-sudan, literally “country of the blacks” ) with all the other poor, black, African savages. But the Sudan has an interesting exception which proves politically advantageous for the United States: Arabs! So we see the tactical, political reason to condemn the perpetrators of the genocide, the Janjaweed: it paints Arabs as criminals (which is actually true in the case of the Janjaweed) and further bolsters the solidity of the United States’ inflammatory and condemnatory discourse against the Arab world, which it keeps up in order to further strategic goals in the Middle East.

In further evidence that the American label “genocide” on the Darfur situation is purely political is the reality that we have nothing to lose by doing so. Unlike the case of Rwanda, naming Darfur’s reality a genocide does not commit us to any action, but it is, as I said, a useful and powerful rhetorical tool in our “war on terror” and our other discursive campaigns in our quest to maintain hegemony.

The same political reasons as well as implications for responsibility are evident in our linguistic pussy-footing around the issue of Iraq. As Mahmood Mamdani argues in his article, the similarities between Darfur and Iraq are striking, yet we (American mouthpieces: the media, the military) constantly refer to Iraq as an “insurgency” while we call Darfur a “genocide.” This is further evidence that the naming of conflicts by the United States is done so with purely political aims in mind, rather than the aims of truth and human rights. Well, not purely political, because if Iraq was called a genocide, it would carry implicit responsibility for the United States with it. In Darfur, there is no implication of responsibility. While we invaded Iraq and created its current problems, Darfur’s problems conveniently (for American strategists and politicians) have no direct causation with the United States, yet they relate perfectly to our discourse on terror and our implicit war on the Muslim world (I do not say Arab world, because we are also trying to attack Iran).

In conclusion, it is only for political and strategic reasons that the United States focuses its supposed moral compass on Darfur. Any real humanitarian concern is belied by the fact that the United States commits to nothing by slinging terms around, but does gain significant political currency for its appearance of humanitarian concern. In short, the United States is not only disingenuous, but negligent. And it is, as a significant state actor, not unique in this way, although our hegemony in terms of weaponry and veto power on the world stage is.

Fascism: Coming Soon to a Homeland Near You

I saw this t-shirt on Cafe Press and thought it was pretty awesome (except for the inevitable typo). You can order your own here.

14 Early Signs of Fascism

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism
2. Disdain for Human Rights
3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause
4. Supremacy of the Military
5. Rampant Sexism
6. Controlled Mass Media
7. Obsession with National Security
8. Religion and Government are Intertwined
9. Corporate Power is Protected
10. Labor Power is Suppressed
11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts
12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment
13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption
14. Fraudulent Elections

And if your country begins to look like this, you have the duty as a lover of freedom and liberty for ALL (not some), including yourself, to go out and put a stop to it! Think for yourself, be educated, be cosmopolitan, read, travel, protest, trust, love, share, include. These are tactics feared by fascists.

werd nerd

I am a sucker for word humour. Check this out if you also row this canoe:

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Thanks for Dad for sending these to me.

4th and Hill Dreamin'

Ah, horoscope. Stop reading my mind!

Weird.

Discontent with your neighborhood and with your usual daily routine could have you thinking in terms of moving, or perhaps taking a long vacation, or both. You're feeling especially expansive, Clare, perhaps dreaming of relocating to a more ritzy neighborhood, or to a more exotic place. However, before making definite plans you need to take care to remain grounded in the realities. Don't commit to obligations you might not be able to keep.

Okay, so. Daily mantra of 30 Nov 07: Do NOT fantasize about moving. Do NOT fantasize about moving. Live in reality. Live in possibility. Live in reality. Live in possibility. CALM DOWN.

Reconciling Apartheid

Of late, I have been reflecting a lot about my time in Africa in 1995. It is partially because my Human Rights class has talked a lot this semester about different parts of Africa, especially the Sudan and South Africa. It is partially because of my research on the West Bank and the "Apartheid Wall" being built there. It is partially because I am old enough to look back to that time in my childhood through a different lens and some degree of "perspective."

Today in class we watched (most of) a documentary called Long Night's Journey into Day which recounts parts of the Truth and Reconciliation Commissions established in 1995-6 by the new South African government led by Nelson Mandela. Desmond Tutu was appointed head of the Commissions.

Apartheid in South Africa ended in 1994 and the new, democratic government began to take over. My family and I lived in the country to the north, Zimbabwe, for six months in the following year. We visited South Africa while on holiday in June of 1995, and now, looking back, it seems a certain kind of insanity to think that we were there during so much unrest.

But to be honest, it seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. We spent most of our time in Durban, but we did visit (and flew in and out of) Johannesburg. Durban reminded me very much of Miami, but with many Indians rather than Cubans. Johannesburg was another story. My contact with it was somewhat limited and vehicular in nature. That is to say, we hired a white, female tour guide to show us Johannesburg. She refused to take us anywhere but downtown, and she would not let us get out of the car. Most of what I remember is that it was raining, and there were lots of people on the streets, mostly blacks, and lots of open shops. The streets and shops had a somewhat antiquated character (like being in the 1950s), but it was well-maintained and well-used. There seemed to be a lot of commerce in both cities, which amazes me now, as I am now more cognizant of the immense political turmoil during that time.

When I lived in Zimbabwe, we often read in the Harare newspaper about protests, rallies and subsequent casualties that were occurring all over South Africa. There were several plazas that we visited in Durban where just weeks or days before or after, demonstrators were gunned down or killed in riots. It seems really unbelievable and surreal now, to think that I was so surrounded by conflict which to my present-day, East-End Louisville resident self, often seems rather remote.

I suppose I'll write more about this as I reflect more... But these were a few things I was thinking about as I watched the documentary today.

Saint Noam Wrestles the Demon

In bad news today, I share with you this 8 minute clip (transcript available on same page) of an interview from RealNews.com with Noam Chomsky, talking about nuclear disarmament and U.S. foreign policy towards Iran.

Chomsky's best quote is this, although the whole interview is excellent:

"Suppose it was true that Iran is helping insurgents in Iraq. I mean, wasn’t the United States helping insurgents when the Russians invaded Afghanistan? Did we think there was anything wrong with that? I mean, Iraq's a country that was invaded and is under military occupation. You can't have a serious discussion about whether someone else is interfering in it. The basic assumption underlying the discussion is that we own the world."

So, as my dad used to say, I think it's time we all "put our heads between our knees and kissed our asses goodbye." Hello, nukes!

To See or Not to See (the movie)

"Perhaps the Zemeckis film has found a way to have its cake and eat it too. At one level, our reptilian brain gets to thoroughly enjoy the triumphant ass-kicking of a take-charge hero, but up in our neocortex we pay our penance for this thrill by morally condemning the protagonist — scolding Beowulf and ourselves for the momentary power trip.

Beowulf might survive Grendel. But in going up against the 21st-century guilt trip, he may have met his match."

Stephen T. Asma
http://chronicle.com/temp/email2.php?id=2sNqsYcczKt4NcMC3y3fDnt6s8KJkvzc

Thanks to Dad for sending Asma's reflection on the new film to me. I will mayhaps go to see it--just to get a glimpse of Grendel's Mothers nipples in 3-D, if nothing else... har har

Horoscope du jour

The following is my own horoscopic advice for the day (for Leos, especially those born 24 July), but I think it's an excellent mantra for all of us as we finish our semesters and head (tumble?) into the busy holiday season. Good luck to all; don't let the man get you down...

Professional difficulties could lead to putting in some extra hours working and scheming today, Clare. Whatever problems arise are likely to be less troublesome than they initially seemed, but in the meantime they will have led to frenetic activity and quite a bit of stress. Finish whatever needs to be done, then go home and relax. You are conscientious by nature, but you need to remember to put yourself first. You work to live; you don't live to work.

http://karenswhimsy.com/zodiac-signs.shtm

Hope for the Flowers

I couldn't embed the video on my blog (because I'm technologically impaired), but in case you missed it, this week in the news was Alberto Gonzales, heckled for the rotting jerk that he is, while speaking at the University of Florida recently. See the video of the hecklers and the student reaction here . Perhaps there is hope for the political/civic life of our nation. Maybe everybody isn't asleep or too busy buying their new SUV or iPod to notice... Let's hope so!

keep louisville weird

This is an excellent little overview of a few of the many excellent places that make Louisville one of the best cities in the USA. I believe.

Louisville, we love you! Don't ever change, baby.


Keep Louisville Weird from Thommy Browne on Vimeo.

People Are Just People and The World Is Everlasting

At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal, from which God disposes of our lives, which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our own mind or the brutalities of our own will. This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us... It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely... I have no program for this seeing. It is only given. But the gate of heaven is everywhere.

--Thomas Merton

I like this quote. I like it because it doesn't imply that God fills a void, but rather that this part of us IS God in us and together our collective sparks of holiness make a sun. It is that God is everywhere, and we are holy. We have holiness. We carry the sacred within us, which has meaning only when added to the sacred in others. We must honor this and discover that "heaven is everywhere." God and we are the same. We walk side by side with God, in and around and through God, and we are God and God is in us. Holiness abounds. And to me, people (men) who claim God for their own and say that God is separate from us and we can only access God through them are mistaken. But this lesson is repeated throughout history.

The husband of one of my birth clients a few years ago introduced me to a Leonard Cohen song sung by Buffy St Marie called, "God Is Alive, Magic Is Afoot." I hear it when I read this passage--a passage which my grandmother sent me several years ago, by the way. It's on my fridge and I look at it often. Thought it merited a post, at least. BTW, below are the lyrics to "God Is Alive, Magic Is Afoot."

1...

God is alive; Magic is afoot
God is alive; Magic is afoot
God is afoot; Magic is alive
Alive is afoot.....
Magic never died.

God never sickened;
many poor men lied
many sick men lied
Magic never weakened
Magic never hid
Magic always ruled
God is afoot
God never died.

God was ruler
though his funeral lengthened
Though his mourners thickened
Magic never fled
Though his shrouds were hoisted
the naked God did live
Though his words were twisted
the naked Magic thrived
Though his death was published
round and round the world
the heart did not believe

Many hurt men wondered
many struck men bled
Magic never faltered
Magic always led.
Many stones were rolled
but God would not lie down
Many wild men lied
many fat men listened
Though they offered stones
Magic still was fed
Though they locked their coffers
God was always served.

2..

Magic is afoot. God rules.
Alive is afoot. Alive is in command.
Many weak men hungered
Many strong men thrived
Though they boasted solitude
God was at their side
Nor the dreamer in his cell
nor the captain on the hill
Magic is alive
Though his death was pardoned
round and round the world
the heart did not believe.

Though laws were carved in marble
they could not shelter men
Though altars built in parliaments
they could not order men
Police arrested Magic
and Magic went with them,
for Magic loves the hungry.

But Magic would not tarry
it moves from arm to arm
it would not stay with them
Magic is afoot
it cannot come to harm
it rests in an empty palm
it spawns in an empty mind
but Magic is no instrument
Magic is the end.

Many men drove Magic
but Magic stayed behind
Many strong men lied
they only passed through Magic
and out the other side
Many weak men lied
they came to God in secret
and though they left him nourished
they would not say who healed
Though mountains danced before them
they said that God was dead
Though his shrouds were hoisted
the naked God did live

3...

This I mean to whisper to my mind
This I mean to laugh with in my mind
This I mean my mind to serve 'til
service is but Magic
moving through the world
and mind itself is Magic
coursing through the flesh
and flesh itself is Magic
dancing on a clock
and time itself the magic length of God.

ALSO:
"The Ghost of Corporate Future" by Regina Spektor

A man walks out of his apartment,
It is raining, he's got no umbrella
He starts running beneath the awnings,
Trying to save his suit,
Trying to save his suit.
Trying to dry, and to dry, and to dry but no good

When he gets to the crowded subway platform,
He takes off both of his shoes
He steps right into somebody's fat loogie
And everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
Everyone who sees him says, "Ew."

But he doesn't care,
'Cause last night he got a visit from the
Ghost of Corporate Future
The ghost said, "Take off both your shoes
Whatever chances you get
Especially when they're wet."

He also said,
"Imagine you go away
On a business trip one day
And when you come back home,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan."

"And people make you nervous
You'd think the world is ending,
And everybody's features have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic,
And everyone's sarcastic,
And all your food is frozen,
It needs to be defrosted."

"You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now.
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now."

"Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee,
And never ever watch the ten o'clock news,
Maybe you should kiss someone nice,
Or lick a rock,
Or both."

"Maybe you should cut your own hair
'Cause that can be so funny
It doesn't cost any money
And it always grows back
Hair grows even after you're dead"

"And people are just people,
They shouldn't make you nervous.
The world is everlasting,
It's coming and it's going.
If you don't toss your plastic,
The streets won't be so plastic.
And if you kiss somebody,
Then both of you'll get practice."

"The world is everlasting
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
And take off both your shoes.
'Cause people are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.
People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you."

The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
It's coming and it's going

WTF

What in the hell just happened? Does anybody speak Japanese? This is the tamest of the series. If you want to see more of these eff-ed up Japanese vignettes, go to http://www.buildup.co.jp/pq/#

B I Z A R R E .

Short trailer: film: Bil'in Habibti, or Bil'in My Love (2006)

Mo' War Mo' Problems

marriedtothesea.com

Criminal Justice? Is that even REAL?

marriedtothesea.com

Majoring in Criminal Justice is like majoring in Evolutionary Anthropology. That shit don't even exIST! Haha. CJ.

Better Bad News

Little-known fact: Osama bin Laden watches "The View" in his Batcave in Tora Bora.

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, INDEPENDENT MEDIA? A NATION TURNS ITS STUPID EYES FROM YOU... WOO WOO WOO.

Isabel y Fernando: Venture Capitalists

I'm all about venture capital, but... I guess it didn't occur to the inventors of this project that MAYBE--just maybe--not everyone loves the results of Queen Isabel's "venture capital" investments. Christ! What an insult to the people of Native American descent in the New World. Oh, just skim through it. It's impressive...

Friday, April 22, 2005
"Capital hunt challenge for Latinos" Silicon Valley / San Jose Business Journal - by Robert Mullins

Queen Isabela I of Spain originally rejected Christopher Columbus' pitch for venture capital to fund his three-ship expedition in 1492. But after her accountant told her the amount requested was no more than what the kingdom would spend to entertain a visiting dignitary for a week, Isabela relented and gave Columbus 2,000 maravedis in A round funding.

Columbus' trip lead to the discovery of the New World, generating an incalculable rate of return on Isabela's original investment.

"Yes, the first venture capitalist was a Latina," said Marcela Davison Aviles, of San Jose, founder of the Isabela Project, a program to give today's Latino entrepreneurs a better chance at landing venture capital in Silicon Valley.

The project's two-fold aim is to teach Latinos how to gain access to the VC world and to develop investment products that could help Latino startups grow.

Latino entrepreneurs have difficulty securing venture funding or other investment capital because, despite their growing numbers and economic clout, they have few connections to people in the clubby VC community, those in the Hispanic business community say. VC partners unfamiliar with Hispanic entrepreneurs are reluctant to fund a company that may sail off the edge of the business world. And there aren't enough Queen Isabelas at those firms who can greenlight a fellow Latino's expedition today.

"If we don't engage this population to be part of the innovation economy, that is going to hurt California," says Margarita Quihuis, a Mexican-American venture capitalist who is currently a Reuters Fellow at Stanford University studying innovative business financing.

Latinos made up 14 percent of the U.S. population in 2004, making them the largest minority group, and more of them live in California than in any other state. They are projected to grow to 15 percent of the U.S. population by 2015 and to 25 percent by 2050, according to a 2004 Isabela Project report based on 2000 U.S. Census figures. Minorities are forecast to be the fast-growing part of the work force in the future and most of them will be Latinos.

Further, 87 percent of the new businesses launched in the U.S. between 1992 and 1997 were Latino-owned and 39 percent were Latina-owned, the Isabela report states.

However, only 5 percent of Latino startups were funded with venture capital and only 4.25 percent of U.S. Small Business Administration-backed loans were granted to Latino businesses. Sixty percent of Latino businesses were started with borrowed money, versus only 5 percent to 10 percent of white-owned startups.

The Isabela Project -- funded by the Milken Institute, an economic think tank -- is developing an educational program for Latino entrepreneurs on how to build their businesses to make the best presentation to angel investors, venture capital firms, or other potential investors, says Ms. Aviles.

"What should the PowerPoint look like?" she said, citing an example of some of the ground covered.

The Isabela Project is trying to develop an asset-backed securities product to finance Hispanic startups. SBA loans would be bundled together, just as mortgages are, to securitize community development or small business loans. This would make possible smaller investments in Hispanic startups than VCs want to bother with, and give the entrepreneur more options on how to use the funds than they can with an SBA loan, Ms. Aviles said.

The overhead for a VC firm to perform due diligence, advise the new firm and otherwise manage the investment is basically the same regardless of the amount invested. They would rather invest $20 million in a firm than $1 million to maximize their return, and so would pass on smaller deals.

Private equity funding isn't much of an option for Hispanic startups either, said Richard Leza, founder and managing partner of Azul Venture Partners and founder of A1 Research Corp., a consulting firm.

Silicon Valley VC firms invest primarily in technology companies, and few Hispanic businesses are in tech. Private equity investments are available to a wide range of industries, said Mr. Leza. But private equity (in which individuals, some of whom may be VC partners, make their own investment) is available mostly for "mature firms," that have some solid revenue coming in.

But even for Hispanic tech startups, if they can't get their business plan on a VC partner's desk, the VC will never know about them.

"It's like having a party. If you're never invited, you're never going to find the door and you're never going to find the party," he said.

Angel investors can be another source of startup funding, but since the dot-com crash, "The angels have all gone up to heaven." said Stanford's Ms. Quihuis.

Immigration history works against Hispanics, she added. Many immigrants from India or other Asian countries are "the educated elite," she said, who come from wealthy families to attend graduate school and more easily connect with investors. Some Cubans had a similar advantage, she said, as well-to-do families left Cuba with their financial assets after the Communist revolution in 1959 and settled in Miami.

But Mexicans, who make up 63 percent of all Latinos living in the U.S., immigrated here largely to escape poverty.

Mexicans would have a better chance of meeting VCs if they network with other Latinos, she said, by combining business groups, called "diasporas," from Brazil, Guatemala, Mexico and other Latin American countries to have more collective clout.

There are other efforts of note to bridge the gap between Hispanics and investors, said The Isabela Project's Ms. Aviles.

The California Public Employees Retirement System (CalPERS) in November 2004 added $500 million to a $1.5 billion hedge "fund-of-funds" to pursue "non-traditional investment strategies." The California State Teachers Retirement System (CalSTRS) in January created a $100 million private equity fund-of-funds to be invested in "new and next generation" ventures. Ms. Aviles sees both moves creating investment opportunities for Hispanic entrepreneurs.

Locally, Hispanic-Net, a Palo Alto-based networking organization helps Hispanics find investors.

As successive Hispanic generations build ties to the venture capital community, the disparity should disappear. "It's inevitable," Ms. Aviles said.

But that doesn't mean it will happen all by itself, says Dennis King, executive director of the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce of Silicon Valley. If Columbus hadn't discovered the New World, someone inevitably would have, he agreed. But still, someone at sometime would have to take the initiative to do it.

Robert Mullins covers small business, telecommunications, education, retail and media for The Business Journal. Reach him at (408) 299-1829. All contents of this site © American City Business Journals Inc. All rights reserved.
from: http://sanjose.bizjournals.com/sanjose/stories/2005/04/25/focus1.html (retrieved 23 Oct 2007)

Serj Tankian for Prez

What. is. up.

I haven't posted in some weeks. You know; the usual. But I did want to mention something Thomas and I went to see on Saturday. We dropped off the kids at Jo Ann's at 4 pm ish and then went downtown because the University of Louisville's Student Film Committee was showing a film called This Is England (which we didn't see) with a screening of some of Serj Tankian's new music videos first. It was a "viewing party" instead of a "listening party" to mark the upcoming release of his new album, Elect the Dead.

So we listened to the first 5 tracks before the movie began, and it was inCREDible. A lot of fantastic political stuff, along with some other themes (love stinks, etc). The video for the song "Empty Walls" was easily my favourite. The conflation of the idea of "No Child Left Behind" with the war in Iraq was so very powerful. Some really intuitive and distubring imagery is imbedded in the video, the icons of our folly in Iraq jarring against the thematic of "child's play."

Below is the video. And below that are the lyrics.

Serj Tankian - Empty Walls

Add to My Profile | More Videos

"Empty Walls" by Serj Tankian

Your empty walls...
Your empty walls...
Pretentious attention
Dismissive aprehension
Don't waste your time, on coffins today
When we decline, from the confines of our mind
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls

Those empty walls
When we decline, from the confines of our mind
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls
Want you to be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls

From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
The walls
From behind those empty walls

I loved you, yes
Though they be
For you killed my family

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Told you
To see
From behind those empty walls
Want you to be, left behind those empty walls
Told you
To see
From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
Those walls...
Those walls...

Here is a news piece about the new CD's release (comes out tomorrow): http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/ent/stories/DN-serjtankian_1022gl.ART.State.Edition1.425fc19.html

They ask: So... What are you going to do with your degree in anthropology?

By Necessity, a Card-Carrying Member of the DYHFBCIDIB Club

toothpastefordinner.com

This is me for the past few weeks, man. I have been cutting it REALLY close. And I don't think it's for lack of time management, you know? I think I'm just literally DOING TOO MUCH STUFF. But I don't want to let anything go. Like, posting to my blog, for example. I should be reading and creating study questions and preparing for my advising meeting etc right now, but instead I'm catching up on the last few weeks of toothpastefordinner.com comix and marriedtothesea.org comix. Is that wrong? I believe it is not. You've gotta make a little time for fun stuff or you might die and explode, possibly not in that order. Right?

So. That is why I am a card-carrying member this semester of the "Do Your Homework 5 Minutes Before the Class It's Due In Begins" Club. Take that, McCarthy.

Flight Of The Conchords - The Humans Are Dead

Pretty much the best song ever, man.

I can't decide if my favourite part is, "affirmative: i poked one it is dead" or the binary solo....

What bullshit shall our brains feast upon today?

My, but is has been a while, hasn't it? I am still not REALLY here, as I am amazingly busy with school and home and work. But I was trying to write the proposal for my senior thesis, and one of the sites I was looking at was translated by someone associated with "Tlaxcala, the network of translators for linguistic diversity." I was interested in the idea--and the name, which seemed to be Nahuatl or something like it. So I went to the site and one of the many things there (http://www.tlaxcala.es/default.asp) was a set of cartoons by this guy Kalvellido. I especially liked the one I placed here in my blog.

The word bubble in the panel means, "What do they want us to believe today?"
I often feel like "the powers that be" intend for us to actually stick our heads into the television set like an oven and just broil our brains in the pixels until we have no thoughts of our own left.

Savvy child

toothpastefordinner.com

Bil’in, Ramallah: June 29, 2007: Two Israeli Demonstrators Arrested

By the International Solidarity Movement (ISM) Media Team

Many internationals and Israelis joined today the Palestinian residents of the village of Bil’in in their weekly demonstration against the Apartheid Wall and the occupation – and of course in solidarity with Iyad Bornat, who has been arrested since the previous demonstration. As usual, the peaceful demonstrators, among them many children, chanting and holding Palestinian flags, tried to reach the Wall/Fence.

As soon as the first demonstrators arrived at the point of the road where the soldiers had put barbed wire, the soldiers started to shoot tear gas canisters at them. Because of the amount of tear gas, the direction of the wind and the high temperature, the majority of the demonstrators were forced to step back. Two Palestinians, an Israeli and three Internationals managed to stay at the area despite the soldiers bombardment of teargas. A teargas canister nearly hit one of the internationals in the leg.

An Israeli demonstrator, former soldier of Golani battalion, was in the front talking for a long time to the soldiers, through a huge cloud of gas. A Palestinian member of the Popular Committee of Bil’in and an international tried to extinguish a small fire caused by the gas canisters. A few more internationals and Palestinians managed to reach the area. But finally the soldiers attacked the peaceful demonstrators with gas and sound bombs, and they arrested the Israeli demonstrator. Later we were informed that there was also an Israeli woman arrested.

The demonstrators tried several times to step forward again, but they were dispersed with teargas and rubber bullets. Palestinian residents of Bil’in, some of them children, also faced the same treatment while there were trying to collect the gas canisters.

Miss Teen USA South Carolina 2007 with Subtitles

Maybe we should just disband the United States. Kentucky could do all right on its own; we'd just have to repeal that law outlawing hemp cultivation, and we'd be back in the money as our own sovereign nation. That way we can wage war on South Carolina and kill all the stupid people. (except my family, who emigrated there. not native.)

And now for something completely the same

I am trying to cope with the extreme busy-ness of being back in school. I am happy to be here, but for right now, I cannot say anything of Spain, but only put this webcomic up... "entertain us; I feel stupid and contagious."


marriedtothesea.com

Home Again, Jiggity Jig

I loaded a few more pics, so see if you can look at these:

http://louisville.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2078769&l=a8902&id=38313542

I will write more soon, but for the nonce I am having way to much fun hanging out with my family, loving on my husband, cleaning my house, and trying out my new-found Spanish cuisine on whoever will eat my cooking. I promise to reflect, in writing, veddy soon.

Las Fotos de la Vida Española, quizás.

Weeelllllll....

I am almost home, my peoples. I am extremely happy about this prospect, and am sure to write more about Spain in retrospect and in the comfort of my own home, with my American shower and my Mac iBook (baby, I missed you!) wherein I can upload many photos. In the meantime, I had had to stow a few photos on Facebook, who purports to allow public viewings of photo albums. Try it and see. Paste the links below into your browser and see if you can take a look at a few of my photos. Post a comment to let me know if it worked or not, m´kay? Each of the two links goes to a different photo album.

http://louisville.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2075252&l=4dbfc&id=38313542

http://louisville.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2077498&l=62b95&id=38313542

Yes, you like? Jakshemesh.

La Vida Española Part 4: Barcelona is Catalán for Barcelona

So... I know I said I´d write about Salamanca in this next post, but I think I have to write about Barcelona instead. It´s pretty much the coolest. Well, no, it´s not; it´s really humid and it´s full of people and I had had enough of those 2 things after 48 hours; but the ART! Holy majoly! And, in addition, there was the coolest bookstore I´ve yet seen in Europe. It almost rivals Shakespeare´s in Madison, Wisconsin. Almost.

We--my new friend from the trip, Brittany (from Carson-Newman College in Tennessee) and myself--went to Barcelona Thursday after class (by Renfe train--woo.hoo.) and stayed till midday Sunday, when we headed "home". It´s a curious thing how relieved I was to be back in Segovia; it is home, at least temporarily. At least it´s familiar, and smaller, and friendlier.

Our first full day in Barcelona was spent first at La Sagrada Familia and later at Las Ramblas and the Egyptian Museum. La Sagrada Familia was, without a doubt, the most amazing thing I have seen in Spain, and comes close to being the coolest thing I´ve seen in Europe. It´s absolutely breathtaking. I hope it´s finished before I die so I can go see it. The place was designed by Antonio Gaudí (who is fast becoming one of my most favourite creative minds of all time), who died in a freak trolley (I think) accident shortly after being given charge of the project. The church has now been under construction for 125 years--it is Europe´s Taj Majal, fo´reals. Here are some pictures of the exterior:

This is what the finished church will look like:


Gaudí is known as the master of modernisme, and took his design inspiration from nature. So the inside of the cathedral, for instance, looks like a canopy of trees, when you look up. It´s freaking unbelievable:


We went to the top of the completed spires for an incredible view of Barcelona. Perhaps I´ll be able to post those pictures soon....

We proceeded from La Sagrada Familia to La Pedrera, another building designed by Gaudí that you will all recognize as the emblematic picture of Barcelona (and to some, Spain).

We didn´t go in, but rather continued on down Las Ramblas, which is a series of streets positively FILLED with people, vendors, stores, street performers, music and all manner of diversions. It´s an incredible strip of city. There is an incredible covered open air market popularly called "La Boquería" (Mercat Sant Josep in Catalán, properly) where I actually managed to encounter ORGANIC VEGETARIAN FOOD! Oh happy day! These Arabs ran this booth that sold crepes filled with cous cous, carrots, eggplant, olives, tahini, and every other kind of excellent Mediterranean food you can imagine. It was like being home, eating that stuff again. Ahhh... And at this market there are all these booths selling EVERYTHING, but especially fresh fruit juices (I tried, over the course of two days, Kiwi, Papaya, Mango and Coconut--all fantastic) AND fresh coconut pieces, a whole pack for only €1! It was the best dessert ever. Pretty much. Here´s a picture of the market:


The next day we went to the Parque Güell, which requires it´s own blog entry, fer real. Google-image it and see what happens. It´s freaking unbelievable, and not surprisingly therefore, also designed by Gaudí. We also went to the Contemporary Art Museum of Barcelona, which was really cool. Outside was a multitdue of skateboard kids making a hel of a racket and using the front of the museum as a skate park, which I thought was pretty cool in a Bohemian kind of way. Inside the museum we only saw the permanent collection, which was inCREDible. Among the highlights were two art films, one Italian and one German, of which I did not watch in their entireties, for fear of driving Brittany out of her mind (not a "contemporary art" kind of gal, but she was very open-minded about the whole thing nonetheless). There was also an incredible slide show piece that was a series of photos from the WTO protests in Seattle in 1999. It was absolutely breathtaking.

Well... I have more to say on Barcelona, but not much money left on my internet time. More to come folks. See you in 11 days!!!!! Woo hoo.

La Vida Española Part 3: La Granja

Soooo... I have been graciously informed by my lovely Spanish professor from UofL that gypsies are rumanas because "many of them come from Romania and their language is Romani or Romany. The theory is that they are originally from India and have migrated westward. That's all Alpha knows on the subject...."

So that´s interesting. P.S., in case you were wondering, this particular professor is
(A) "Alpha" because she is the top-dog (according to her and me and pretty much the whole universe) en cuanto a linguistics and Spanish, and I am the Alpha-in-training, because she was trying to inspire some confidence in me when I took Hispanic Linguistics and was nervous about speaking spontaneously to the class about such a technical subject. She told me to repeat to myself (inside my head) "Who´s the Alpha Dog? I am!" in order to pump myself up and such before talking in front of peeps in Spanish. It has helped, I´ll tell you! and
(B) apparently a reader of my blog (while I´m in Spain at least) which makes me a little chagrined, since I tend to use the curse-words more than a little frequently, with the assumption that the only people reading this already know I´m a pottymouth. Well, now Alpha is in the loop too.

Onwards and upwards... I went to La Granja today. It is a royal palace and gardens that look like this:
Here is a website about it for those of you who read Spanish, and for those of you who don´t, there are still some cool pictures! http://www.rurismo.com/pueblo/pueblo.asp?poblacion=8777

It was incredibly beautiful, and is only about 20 minutes by bus from Segovia--a busride which costs a mere €1.08, I´ll have you know. La Granja is gorgeous: filled with acres of hedges and flowers and statues and statuaries, not to mention the incredible palace--fully appointed--and the breathtaking mountians in the background. The place (yes, I meant place, not p-a-lace) was built in the early 18th century (that´s the 1700s, you guys) by Felipe V (which we say en español "Felipe Quinto," which sounds funny said aloud and amuses me, although not as much as Carlos Quinto. That´s just hilarious. Ah, the alliteration...). This is what his rich, sissy ass looked like:


OMG, I´m so glad the 18th century is over. Except for the gardens, of course, which were so much more amazing than the palace, as beautiful as the palace was. I think I´ll go back for a second gander in the gardens, because there is a hedge maze I didn´t get to see, and lots and lots of artwork in the forest that I didn´t have time for, either. Plus, now I have a bus schedule, so I don´t have to worry about getting stuck and having to walk 20 miles and then getting sun stroke and dying. And all because I wanted to walk in a hedge maze.

In other news, classes are fine. I love my professor (singular, because I dropped the theatre class, but that´s a story for another post), and I love the subject, and I love being able to walk in and around and on and through the subject. It´s good to be here while studying "here" as a topic. Spain has so much history, and so much culture, and it´s just amazing. My señora told me they found human remains from Roman times underneath the city when they were constructing a parking garage a few years ago. And I´m sure it´s not the first time; Spain has had people in it for like at least 4,000 years. It´s freaking amazing. The Phoenicians came here a bajillion years ago and the iberocelts were already like, "Wassup, homies? You want to grow some olives here? That´s cool. We got this whole sheep raising thing going on, but whatevs. Oh, and you have wine! That´s a neat idea. You guys can hang with us, but you have to worship bulls. Okay?" And it just got crazier from there, I tell you. It´s so cool.

Also, next time I´m writing about Salamanca, which--I have decided--is one of the coolest places I´ve ever been. Hope y´all are well. Happy July.

Putas Rumanas; or La Vida Española, Part 2

Fucking gypsies.

That´s right; you people all heard me; I got robbed! ROBBED, I tell you! What a bunch o´crap. Don´t you all worry; I´m okay.

I should back up, and tell you what transpired.

So. We arrived in Segovia yesterday (Friday) midday from Madrid, a mere hour bus ride. My señora, Amparo, picked me up at the bus station and took me to her beautiful flat near the Plaza Mayor from which one can see the Cathedral looming large. It is simply perfect. Amparo is pretty much the nicest Spanish woman ever (but then again, aren´t they all?); she lives alone with one very friendly cat named Boni (like as in pretty); she has one son who is in his twenties and lives in London (or Londres, as they say in español). She works in a travel agency and she is just so nice. And she makes great food. For lunch (el comer) she made a salad with just iceberg lettuce and tomato, but then she added little slivers of watermelon, and then salt and olive oil. It was so awesomely awesome.

Aaaaaaanyway, after we ate, I took a little siesta, having had almost no sleep the night before (it´s almost impossible to sleep without my husband). I woke up with the breeze coming in my window, the cat staring at me from my desk, and all seemed right with the world. So I went out and walked down to the aqueduct where I met up with the rest of the group. My professors gave us a great tour of Segovia, from the Alcázar (the castle where Isabel and Ferdinand lived and the real inspiration for Walt Disney´s princess castle--contrary to the popular legend that his castle was inspired by Neuschwannstein (dunno if I spelled that correctly) in Germany) to the aqueduct. It was extremely hot, but in Spain one just sort of ignores the heat in favor of more alluring foci of attention, like refrescos, and frescoes, and old buildings, and synogogues, and churches, and shops, and chocolate, and coffee (which my señora has in abundance, thanks be to God!), and all that.

After the tour, some of the other chicas on the trip that I am becoming friends with and I decided to take a little break and sit in a café. I split a chocolate ice cream with my friend, Brittney, and we just chilled, about 8 of us.

After the tasty break, we took a stroll past this feria de libros, or open air book fair. I was really jazzed because I thought I might find some cheaper books there (books are expensive in Spain, by and large). I was at the booth of this woman who was selling children´s books, mostly. I was asking her a question when this little girl, no more than 13 years old, kind of sidled up to me and bumped into me, trying to look at some teeny-bopper looking shit in the booth. I looked at her when she brushed me, and she turned away. I continued asking my question to the dueña (shopkeeper).

Aaaaanyway, not more than two minutes later, I had turned away from the booth and we were walking back towards the aqueduct. All of a sudden I noticed that my little purse was sticking out a little bit from the top of my bigger purse, and I suddenly had this drop in my stomach with the sudden knowledge that someone had been in my purse. And I checked to see that my wallet was still there and--big surprise--that little gypsy punk girl had stolen it right out of my zipped purse. She had tried to take the other little purse in there too (containing only incidentals--toiletries and the like), but hadn´t been able to fit it through the little opening she had made when she managed to wheedle my zipper open a little. ¡Puta verdadera! In Segovia they call these girls rumanos; I´m not sure exactly why, but it means gypsy/transient. Anyway, all she got was some Listerine breathmints, about €25 cash, my ATM Fifth-Third card, my driver´s license (which is about to expire anyway), my student ID card from UofL as well as the International one. So I borrowed some money from one of the other girls, went to this internet café, found the number of the bank, called the bank, cancelled the ATM card, went back online to get the PIN number for my other (UofL) card, went to the ATM and got out more cash with my UofL debit card. Fortunately, my passport was back at home with my extra credit cards. The only thing truly lost was my international student ID card. So no more museum discounts. Boo. And I´ll have to get a new UofL student ID, which costs $3 or something. And I had to get a new driver´s license anyway, so whatevs.

Anyway. Thus concludes the tale of my first 9 hours in Segovia. How ironic it is that I spent all week in Madrid (gigantic city with more people, crime, danger, whatever) without any problem, and as soon as I get to Segovia, I get my sorry ass robbed. Sonuvabitch. Furthermore, how many freaking countries have I been to, with nary a problem? I guess it was just my time. It could´ve been worse. I´m glad I didn´t lose my passport. Qué será, será, and all that.

Well. Since then, everything has been uphill. (This is funny if you know Segovia, wherein everything literally is either uphill or downhill--great for the gams and thighs, eh? Not to mention the glutes.) As I said, my señora is really wonderful and is going to try to find Brittney (remember: ice cream friend) and me a cheap hostel that is nice and safe in Barcelona when we go on our long weekend right before my birthday (our free travel weekend is July 19-23). Since she´s a travel agent, Amparo has a nice hook-up in Barcelona who can help us out, hopefully. And she likes me a lot because my Spanish is good and she can tell I´m smart. And I like her because I can tell she is smart, and elegant, and motherly. She gave me an umbrella to use today because it rained! How thoughtful. Which was awesome because it was stiflingly hot earlier. I went out with two other friends, Vanessa (from Cincinnati!) and Andrea, at 10 am and we walked all the way around Segovia like three times. At about noon, noon-thirty we stopped to have a Coke in the Plaza Mayor, and it was SO BRIGHT. And HOT. We returned to our homes in time for lunch at 2:30 (I went home a little early) and right after I got home it started pouring rain. The wind was pretty fierce too, and Amparo was late getting home because she got stuck in a store during the downpour. When we did eat at about 3:15, we had these awesome grilled-cheese-sandwiches-crossed-with-french-toast kind of things. I´m totally making them when I get home.

We will have dinner at 9:30, which is actually kind of early for Spaniards. But Amparo likes to go out for long walks at night, so maybe I´ll go with her tonight. Or maybe I´ll stay in and do the copious amounts of homework that I still have. Hmm...

I miss you all so much. I hope you are doing well. I will try to figure out if I can upload pictures at this internet café, so you can see what Segovia looks like.

La Vida Espanola parte 1

Hola de Espana! Forgive me; I'm using a PC laptop from one of the other students and I don't know how to make it do tildes or accents or upside down exclamation points. So, ghetto Spanish.

So here I am. After one painful, coffee-deprived day of jet-lag, we had our first day of classes yesterday (Monday), and they went really well. I think I will like my classes a LOT. I get to do a project, for example, on a photography exhibition at La Academia de las Bellas Artes the theme of which is the transition from fascism to democracy in Spain in the 1970s during the fall of Franco and the restoration of the crown. Yay! I also get to do a presentation on the effectiveness (or lack thereof) on the smoking ban in Madrid that recently took effect. You'd never know it, though; EVERYONE smokes in cafes, bars, restaurants, the subway, EVERYWHERE.

And as far as Madrid goes, we're here until Friday, when we go to Segovia to meet our host families and begin the second, "Segovia" part of our trip. I'm looking forward to it, because I can really profundizar (deepen) relationships with Spaniards, whereas in the colegio (boarding school) where we are staying this week in Madrid, there isn't enough time or peace to get to know any other the other kids really well. In fact, the students here are really friendly, and there are all kinds of camps going on, in addition to normal classes. There are high school students who live here normally, plus little little kids age 6 to 10, middle school age kids, and then us, Americna college students. I haven't figured out exactly who is in charge, because while there are lots of programs going on, lots of kids, and college-age counselors directing them, there aren't really any 'adults,' you know? It's sort of like Lord of the Flies, if they had managed to develop some kind of stable society instead of killing Piggy. ("Sucks to your asmar.") The camps are for kids to either learn Spanish or English, and they are boisterous, noisy bunches of kiddoes. But that makes it more like home. They are kind of afraid of us KIIS students when we try to talk to them, though, so I stopped trying. The counselors are really friendly, though. There are these two girls I've made friends with, Ana and Consuelo, and they are supernice and cool. They have given us help with our Spanish and recommendations on what to see in Madrid. It's pretty cool.

Meanwhile, I am also slowly getting to know (and like) the people in my KIIS group a bit better; but unsurprisingly, the people I like best in our group are the professors. They are really nice and funny and they like me because my Spanish is good and I am a good student (unlike most everybody else here who is pretty lazy, in my opinion, and VERY American--in a bad way--about a lot of things... how to act in public being at the top of my list, their complaints about the food, their persistence in speaking English, being a few more...). And since I have been able to talk to a lot of the students at the colegio, I am gaining more confidence every day in my Spanish skills. I was talking to one student last night for a few minutes who thought I was Spanish--and it wasn't the first time. I've been asked by various Spaniards if I am Irish, Belgian, Puerto Rican or Spanish, but I haven't yet been asked if I'm American. No one assumes this of me. I consider it a success. :) I understand about 85 - 95% of everything said to me, so I'm feeling pretty good about things right now. And I really like my classes, although there is a LOT of homework.

So. I'll have more to say when I have more time and energy, but right now I have lots o' homework, and only about 8 hours in which to do it. :) I miss you all, and yes, I'm alive, so don't worry. I'm walking a lot, too, which feels GREAT! At least 3 or 4 miles a day so far. Woo hoo!