Is this foreboding?

Horoscope du jour:

When we have found our path, we naturally want to start to walk down it, Clare. The reverse isn't true despite what you seem to believe. It is quite futile to learn how to walk when you don't know which path to walk upon. This may seem a little obtuse to you and yet it is true. It is desire that creates aptitude and not the reverse.

Is this ominous? Does it portend failure in my nascent Spanish graduate student career? Argh. This little paragraph gives words to my ongoing problem with Spanish: it is not Spanish itself which gives me fulfillment. It is not the culture, or the language, which thrills me and compels me to learn. Rather, it is what doors the knowledge of Spanish opens for me which inspire my desire to learn more; it is the ability to travel, to communicate, and the love of language itself which interests me. Which is why I worry about this whole graduate program business. Everyone is already asking, "What are you going to do with your MA in Spanish?" and my answer is, "I don't know, but I know it won't be the groundwork for a higher degree in Spanish." I don't want to teach Spanish as a career, although I do enjoy the academic life.

All I know is, I am looking forward to the opportunity to work at the University, build some professional experience, and attain a graduate degree. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing. I am loyal, and smart, and I learn quickly. I know I am equal to the task... yet I wonder if what I will learn will have more to do with intra-departmental politics, university machinations, and how to teach introductory classes, than anything about Spanish language or Latino culture which will inspire desire in me. I go with an open mind, but my horoscope says that's not enough. Aptitude can never create desire, eh? Well, we'll see. And even if the MA program doesn't create desire for Spanish in me, at least it will help me choose a next step for my life. And in the meantime, my aptitude will introduce the opportunity to learn, my drive to succeed will concrete the attainment of my goals... even if my aptitude for Spanish will not inspire passion for it by itself.