My SUV doesn't run on corn

Everywhere between LA and NYC really IS fly-over country, ain't it?

There are more things, Horatio...

Understanding human experience must occur only with the utilization of both sides of our brains. All emotion and gestalt perception can't see the trees; and all abstract, sequential reasoning can't see the forest! When we try to make sense of ourselves and the world in which we live, we have to think intuitively and rationally. They are two sides of the same coin of knowledge, understanding, sense-making, truth-finding.

And so, to those who think that reason is the only way to truth, I mention this quote:

El hombre que pretende obrar guiado sólo por la razón esta condenado a obrar muy raramente. -Gustavo Le Bon
(translation: "The man who functions solely by reason is condemned to function very rarely.")

I'm especially good at expectorating

I have a cold. Therefore, I am coughing ALL THE EFFING TIME. It's getting super-old, as I'm now in Day 7 of Cough-a-rama. I don't deal well with being ill, as I'm impatient and frustrated whenever my health forces me to slow down even a little. Argh. I just get angry and resentful when my body gets sick. Stupid corporeal self.

My sole comfort is the mental amusement I experience every time I cough in a phlegmy way; whenever this happens, the line from the song "Gaston" from Disney's Beauty and the Beast, "In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston...'I'm especially good at ex-pec-torating *ptooey*!'" comes into my head. Haha.

Classic.

For your consideration:

Hospitals steal from those they should serve

When I read this, my first thought is not that UofL should offer more money to its surgeons.

My first thought is, rather, that the way to avoid such incongruity of care between rich (those served by Sub-urban, as my boss used to say) and poor (those who must go to University Hospital to receive emergency care--I include myself in their numbers) sectors of the population is to stop incentivizing it. As it is now, there is no incentive for doctors to remain part of a university system--even one as well-respected as UofL's--when Norton can open its little robe and display it's goods, including shorter work hours for more pay, more expensive surgeries, and more technology.

The way to stop the drain on doctors from the public to the private sector is to make all medical jobs government jobs. Then you have a system, like public education (at least in terms of pay scale), where pay is uniform and based on years of experience and educational level, NOT on how much money an individual doctor can bring to a hospital.

In short: hospitals are the Boss Tweeds of the medical system, and it is immoral, it does a disservice to Louisvillians in particular, and a capitalist medical system violates human rights in general. So let's stop this shit now: Single-Payer Health Insurance NOW. Check it out, dude.

National DO NOT CALL Registry

REMEMBER: Cell Phone Numbers Went Public in January.

REMINDER.... all cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sale calls. .... YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS!!!!!!!

To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 1-888-382-1222.

It is the National DO NOT CALL list. It will only take a minute of your time. It blocks your number for five (5) years. You must call from the cell phone number you want to have blocked. You cannot call from a different phone number.

HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS. It takes about 20 seconds to complete the registry.

ALSO: Same goes for your home phone. Call the same number above from your home phone and register it to stop receiving telemarketing calls! Woo hoo. It's great.

A caveat, however: this registry doesn't completely block out telemarketers, because if you have an account with a bank or a credit card company, that company is still allowed to call and harangue you with "great offers" from Bangalore. Nevertheless, it is worth it to register, because when those companies you actually have accounts with sell your info to other companies, THOSE companies can't call you. Hahahaha.

Barbie says "English is HARD!"

Here are some examples of why English is so difficult, despite the fact that it has a relatively simple morphology.

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." (homonyms are effing impossible for non-native speakers)
"She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off." (multiple meanings of verb phrases; nongendered pronoun 'it' makes for unclear antecedent)
"A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine." (contractions make English difficult to understand)
"A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat." (again, multiple meanings/homonyms: hard, beat)

CARDOMINATION

I just embedded this widget in my blog on the sidebar, because as you know (or ought to), UofL is seeded #1 in this year's NCAA Big East tournament. Bwahahahahahaha.



We play next on Friday at 7 pm. WATCH IT. We will dominate. (I love to use that verb intransitively. It sounds so ominous.)

Ooh, SNAP, Shakespeare!

And who, you no doubt asked yourself this morning upon rising, could have coined the term "indigested"? It's a lovely adjective, derived from the participle of the verb, eh?

Well, ask yourself no longer; the answer is here: SHAKE-SPEARE, of course! And, furthermore, he used it as part of an insult, ha ha! Unsurprising.

The OED gives this earliest written usage:

1593 SHAKES. 2 Hen. VI, V. i. 157 Hence heape of wrath, foule indigested lumpe, As crooked in thy manners, as thy shape.

I'm totally gonna call somebody a "foul indigested lump" the next time I get cut off in traffic. Fer reals.

Free showing of FLOW with producer!!!

Just got an email about this. If you live in Louisville, YOU HAVE TO COME.

The documentary series will kick off on Tuesday, March 24th, the Tuesday following Spring Break.

FLOW: For the Love of Water will be showing at the Gheens Science Hall & Rauch Planetarium at 7:30 p.m. This documentary focuses on the world water crisis, and the co-producer, Gill Holland, will be holding a question and answer session before the film begins. Parking will be available beginning at 7 p.m. in the blue lot off of 3rd & Brandeis. Before the film begins, booths will be set up with information from local companies on sustainability issues. Admission will be free!

Tears, delicious tears of the innocent

Not to be all partisan, but this is just AWESOME.


superpoop.com

Hemingway sux

HA! That's a good one. Ironically, it's a spoof on the only thing I ever read of his that I was actually moved by.


toothpastefordinner.com

more than the Madonna or Madonna

An interesting meditation, Horoscope:

A partner for life or a brief encounter. Which will it be? This is the question of the day. Why not choose both? Can't you imagine being your partner's lover and a homemaker simultaneously? Don't let yourself be influenced by old models that force you to choose between these two ideas of womanhood. Don't forget that in our modern world, your choices aren't as limited as you might think they are!

Except your womb

Here is my translation attempt for "Menos tu vientre" by Miguel Hernández. It sounds better in Spanish, but at least the English-speakers among us can get the idea.

Except your womb
all is confused
Except your womb
all is future
fleeting, past
arid, murky.

Except your womb
all is hidden
except your womb
all insecure,
all at the end.
worldless dust.

Except your womb
all is dark,
except your womb
clear and deep.

trans. Clare Gervasi Kalb, 4 March 2009

Menos tu vientre

Miguel Hernández (1910 - 194something) is the awesomest. Check this shit out:

"Menos tu vientre"

Menos tu vientre
todo es confuso.
Menos tu vientre
todo es futuro
fugaz, pasado
baldío, turbio.

Menos tu vientre
todo es oculto,
menos tu vientre
todo inseguro,
todo postrero.
polvo sin mundo.

Menos tu vientre
todo es oscuro,
menos tu vientre
claro y profundo.

I'll try to translate it later when I have time. Hopefully some of you can get the drift. God, that is intense.

device

An interesting word with a checkered past. The etymology alone is pretty fascinating. Because of my translation class, I have been thinking a lot (more) lately about connotative meaning of words. I have always been fascinated by connotations, because it's the locus of what is meant by "reading between the lines." Studying connotative meaning is an attempt to make explicit what is inherently implicit; manifesting the non-literal. These are the meanings I find interesting, and they are the meanings that help one become fluent in a language. Connotative meaning is the heart and soul of the creative use of words, and for this reason more than any other it is near to my heart.

What is the first association that comes to mind when you hear 'device'? What's the second association? My associations go like this:

1. intrauterine *
2. explosive *
3. MacGyver
4. airplane
5. mneumonic *

Here is the OED's etymology of the word device:

(dvas) Forms: 3-5 deuis, 4 Sc. deuiss, 4-5 deuys, Sc. dewis(e, -ys(s, -ice, -yce, 4-6 deuyse, diuis(e, dyuys(e, 4-7 deuise, devise, 5-6 deuyce, 6 Sc. devyiss, 6-7 divice, 5- device. [Here two original OF. and ME. words devis and devise have run together. The actual form device represents phonetically ME. devs, devs, a. OF. devis masc., ‘division, partition, separation, difference, disposition, wish, desire, will’ (Godefroy); ‘speech, talke, discourse, a conference, or communication; deuising, conferring, or talking together; also, a deuice, inuention; disposition or appointment of’ (Cotgr.); in mod.F. ‘action of discoursing, conversation, talk, specification (of work to be done)’. But the form devise (when not a mere variant spelling of device: see below) represents OF. devise fem. ‘division, separation, difference, heraldic device, will, testament, plan, design, wish, desire, liking, opinion, conversation, conference, manner, quality, kind’ (Godefroy); ‘a deuice, posie, embleme, conceit, coat or cognizance borne; an inuention; a diuision; bound, meere, or marke diuiding land’ (Cotgr.); in mod.F. ‘action of dividing, that which divides or distinguishes, the motto of a shield, seal, etc., an adage’. The two French words correspond to Pr. devis, devisa, It. diviso, divisa, Romanic derivs. of dvs- ppl. stem of dvdre to divide: see DEVISE v.
The older word in ME. appears to have been devis, devys, but devise also appears from Caxton onward, and prob. earlier, at least in the phrase, to devise = F. à devise (sense 12). It is however very difficult to distinguish the two words, since devise, devyse occurs not only as the proper spelling of the repr. of OF. devise, but also, in northern and late ME., and in the 16th c., as a frequent spelling of ME. devis, mod. device. In rimes it is generally possible to separate devise = devis, device, from devise proper, but in other positions it is often impossible; nor does the sense give much help, because in OF. devis and devise partly coincided in meaning, while the English distinctions do not always agree with the French. In later times device gradually became the accepted form in all senses, except in that of ‘testamentary bequest’, which still remains DEVISE, q.v. There is also some reason to think that in the 17th c. devises (-azz) was, in the south of England, used in the plural, when device (-as) was written or at least pronounced in the singular: cf. house sing., houses (-zz) pl. The sense-development had to a great extent taken place before the words were adopted in English, so that here the historical and logical orders do not agree.]

Earliest written usage (for any meaning of the word) was in 1290! Interestingly, the sense in which I principally think of it ("intrauterine device," wherein 'device' is being used in this sense: "a mechanical contrivance (usually of a simple character) for some particular purpose") didn't come about until 1325, and it wasn't specifically applied to the modern IUD (meaning full uterine protection, as opposed to pessaries and the like, which have been around for thousands of years) until it was invented in 1909, but not marketed to the public until mid-century.

In the sense of "explosive device", the word wasn't used until 1931 with the development of nuclear technology. Curious, isn't it, that my first two associations are 20th century ones, even though the word's been around since the 13th century?