We Don't Need No Stinkin' Cold War

By chance on YouTube I came across this video which put images to the audio track of JFK's speech to the American Newspaper Publisher's Association in 1961. The speech addresses the topic of freedom of speech in times of war. Below is what I consider the most interesting excerpt:

"We [The United States] are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covert means for expanding its sphere of influence--on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific and political operations.
Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried, not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned, no rumor is printed, no secret is revealed."

Right. Here JFK is painting a picture of the Soviet Union and its approach to world influence. What strikes me is the similarity between his characterization of the Russians in the 1950s and 1960s (which he contrasted to the United States, who allegedly value freedom of speech, the rule of law, and "a fair fight") and the currrent overt and covert policies propegated by the United States federal government under the Bush II administration (as well as in previous administrations: Clinton, Bush I, Reagan, Carter for example). When I heard him draw this picture of global influence, I immediately thought of our own imperialist and colonialist campaigns to rape, raze and divide "strategic" parts of the globe. We burn both ends of the candle now: we invade AND infiltrate, we subvert AND elect, we conceal AND publish, we headline AND bury, in this country and abroad. You see, one must have a DISinformation campaign as much as an information campaign, if one plans to acheive and maintian global hegemony.

In a related note, Noriega is getting out of prison. For the extended version of the story, look here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/01/25/ap/national/mainD8MS1TDG0.shtml

Oh, and P.S.: If you want the full text of Kennedy's speech, go here: http://www.jfklibrary.org/Historical+Resources/Archives/Reference+Desk/Speeches/JFK/003POF03NewspaperPublishers04271961.htm
or better yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlEqtaWpKEU&mode=related&search=

Straw Hat

Check out the new Mark Twain quote I came across in a chapter I was reading for biological anthropology. It's in the left-hand column under the section "Quotes favoritos."

Also, this is how I am today:

"grasping at straws"

1. trying to find reasons to feel hopeful about a bad situation.

2. trying to find some way to succeed when nothing you choose is likely to work.

from http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/grasping+at+straws

yep.

My Latin roots are showing

indigene |ˈindiˌjēn| noun an indigenous person. ORIGIN late 16th cent.: from French indigène, from Latin indigena, from indi- (strengthened form of in- ‘into’ ) + an element related to gignere ‘beget.’

So an indigenous person is literally "in-begotten" or "in-bred"??? That's not very nice.

This is a way in which etymology can be a bitch.

not CON, but PRO

provenience: |prəˈvinyəns| noun another term for provenance .
provenance: |ˈprävənəns| noun the place of origin or earliest known history of something : an orange rug of Iranian provenance. • the beginning of something's existence; something's origin : they try to understand the whole universe, its provenance and fate. See note at origin . • a record of ownership of a work of art or an antique, used as a guide to authenticity or quality : the manuscript has a distinguished provenance. ORIGIN late 18th cent.: from French, from the verb provenir ‘come or stem from,’ from Latin provenire, from pro- ‘forth’ + venire ‘come.’

compliments of Apple Dictionary 2005

I read the word 'provenience' in my Archaeoloogy textbook and was like, "WTF, mate?" So I happily searched for it in the dictionary. Aren't dictionaries fantastic?

To call me vituperative is perhaps correct; to call me 'despiste', even more so.

Spanish word of the day: despiste - (from despistar) noun 1. as a quality: absent-mindedness; 2. slip-up, error. As in, "That was quite a despiste, calling him by his nickname!" (¡Menudo despiste llamarle por so apodo!) --compliments of wordreference.com

English word of the day: vituperative - adj.: scathing; marked by harshly abusive criticism; As in, "his scathing remarks about silly lady novelists"; "her vituperative railing" --compliments of wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Haven't done words of the day in quite some time. The Spanish word is one I just learned, in a meandering, accidental kind of way; the English word is the first one that came to mind. Hmmm....

Less gas, more peace

I got a lovely and inspiring Christmas present from my best reina, Elizabeth: a holographic Batman on the cover of a lined journal, which continues the Batman theme inside with occasional phrases and pictures. It's fantastically fun; Elizabeth told me she purchased it at the Strand in NYC (http://www.strandbooks.com/home/), a trip about which she recently wrote in her own blog, A Room Full of Books (http://aroomfullofbooks.blogspot.com/2006/12/selling-pencils-in-hanoi.html).

I say it was inspiring because it's exactly the sort of thing I should have bought myself--but didn't have the good sense to--in order to help me out of my slumping self-pity and malaise. The first thing I wrote in it is a pathetic string of words I dare not even name a "poem", and which will never see the light of day. I might even paste something over top of it, just to make sure no one reads it, biggest absolute slaughter of a piece of writing that ever there was. The second reflection I put down Wednesday morning in shaky handwriting on the bus as it bumped along through the Highlands on the way to campus. I thought this little entry was worth making electronic (oh, how we young'uns hypervalue our digital resources these days...).

17 Jan 2007 9:30am
I am on the 29 bus heading toward campus by way of St. Matthews and Cherokee Park. Riding the bus is one of my New Year's resolutions, which I took up when possible in order to use less gas and to help alleviate my feeling of guilt and responsibility over global warming and supporting the imperialist state. The practice is also helpful as an exercise in relinquishing control--one of my most difficult impediments to peace of mind and soul.

The time of my life when I was at my best (to date) was the two year period when I was able to refocus my irrational need to control into a productive way to balance myself. I did this through veganism, time alone, and church participation (especially prayer). Now I'm trying again, working my way back to the belief part of things, and just starting with NO SUGAR and little-to-no dairy or meat.

Phase 2 of the redirection of my control issues is, as I said, to take the bus. This forces me to slow down, have empty time, to plan ahead (time of transport, packing my lunch, thinking a day ahead), and to give my velocity over to someone else. This is the hardest and the most rewarding part of riding the bus; to let someone else take the wheel and get me from point A to point B is a daunting task because it requires faith and trust, two things scarce in my heart these days, being generally a person whose motto is something like, "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

So you can understand how I can be of two minds (or of divergent mind and heart) when the bus driver suddenly decides to idle at a random stop for 3 minutes, or when the driver turns off the engine and steps outside to inspect the side of the bus! My intellectual brain tells me, "You have two hours to get to campus/home. Chill out. Even if you're late, you're not going to cause any big upset by your tardiness, in the grand scheme of things. You have all the time in the world." This used to be a much more effective method of allaying my irrational fears and anxieties. It is harder than it used to be, however; it’s harder to choose that thread of thought over the fear-based brain that is simultaneously telling me, “WTF is that guy doing? I’m nowhere NEAR campus/home! I’m f***ed if I have to get out of the bus here. I’m going to be late! WHAT’S GOING ON? WHY’S THIS HAPPENING???!!!”

But it makes me worry less just to write that down, actually.

i think i'm having a breakdown.

i think i am on some serious burnout. i have spent the last two plus years working SO HARD for everyone else that i have forgotten to take care of me. i have rotted from the inside out. i have become self-righteous, depressed, hurt, defensive, angry, hopeless.

i cannot be all things to all people. i must be good to myself.

this includes:
- exercising my body
- sleeping enough
- finishing school
- making money
- exercising my creative outlet
- engaging with the intellectual and creative world (in the form of museums, movies, concerts, shows, conversations, books)

i have become incapable of viewing myself objectively; of turning the eye inward; of being okay with humility, uncertainty, emptiness.

i have forgotten how to be empty.
how to live in the mystery, in the in-between
and how not to require it of others.
how can i demand understanding?
how can i even ask it when i am unwilling to participate in it myself?

how can i step back from this ledge?
how can i love myself?
how can i remember how to hold myself up to my own candle, and not the reflected candles of others falsely displayed and magnified in my own insecurities?

i must reteach myself
to know myself
so i can like myself again
and see possibilities again

to look at my life as a blessing and not a problem to solve.